Tuesday, October 12, 2010


I worked a night shift on Friday night. There was nothing special about it, except that I was EXHAUSTED. And in the morning I had to fly away to celebrate Thanksgiving.

Also, I have looked at the hours I have completed, and the hours yet to complete, and somehow I have a severe shortage of ICU hours. I don't think that'll stop them from graduating me, but will I be good enough? Seriously. After Christmas we are meant to be good enough to work on our own, but I don't see how this will be possible. I don't know how to do anything! I'm freaking out.

I was supposed to work Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday. Except I woke up this morning in the deepest depths. The kind of deep depths where I can't imagine why I would want to get up at 5 am, and go to a hospital that I am not all that familiar with, and stumble through things all day. The flip side of this is that I know that I still have tons of things to get signed off in my skills book - things that can only be signed off at this one hospital. But I don't care - and I do something that I NEVER do. I called in sick.

So here I sit at home. I've spent the entire day doing book keeping - actually generating some revenue for a change. I'm seriously contemplating dropping out and just having my own business from home. My mom says I am ridiculous. After I have spent so much money on school to want to quit must be so silly. What makes more sense to her is to spend all the money and then do something I may or may not like. It's a sunk cost, the money is gone so it doesn't really matter at this point.

What do I do.

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